One Joy of No TV

YouTube commercials are new to me. This one made me laugh out loud....thrice.

Homecoming Queen, 2010

(or the post in which I eat my own words)

My senior year of high school, I didn't exactly think my involvement in the debate and environmental studies clubs garnered me huge popularity points, but somehow I found myself on the receiving end of a senior girl's highest honor, a homecoming queen nomination.

Most of the details of the nomination process, election and homecoming week are fuzzy memories, but the coronation assembly before the big homecoming game and dance flashes like a bright neon sign among my high school memories. The big event involved cheerleaders cheering, Madrigals (both current and alum) singing traditional school songs, skits by the students body officers and school produced videos full of exciting football moments and rousing school spirit. The crowning moment was the processional of the homecoming royalty nominees and the announcement of that year's queen.

There we were, lined up at the back of the darkened auditorium, waiting for our names to be called. In turn, each of us was escorted down the aisle to the stage while we were introduced to the student body. Our glowing high school curricula vitae and hopeful future plans were read aloud to sentimental music as we promenaded past our peers. I knew the vast majority of my little biography would be about school, because, well, we were in school and I planned on attending more school once I graduated. The other nominees were bright, accomplished young women. Their service to the school as student body officers and cheerleaders, then their college plans and future careers were all mentioned. For some, there was also mention of desires to have a family or to go on a mission.

Then there it was, read aloud to an entire student body in our homecoming assembly, tucked in among the lists of choir achievements, parts in the school play and college plans. One girl hoped to be, and I quote, a "mother in Zion".

I was dumbstruck. Zion as an ideal spiritual society was part of the religious lexicon of Sunday school lessons, but there in the midst of a contest that was essentially a popularity election? Shocked, I couldn't process it. It seemed out of place and not a goal worthy of mentioning. Sure, we were going to be mothers some day, but didn't she know that when some one asked her about her plans for the future, they were asking about her secular life...what she was going to study, make of herself, and do in the future? Where were her dreams, her ambitions? This mother in Zion business seemed such a limited view of her future and the world.

Fast forward quite a few years. I moved away from home, graduated from college, moved further away to a city I love, pursued a career in my own meandering way, married, traveled and experienced a bit of corporate success in an unexpected second career. Through the midst of it, the desire for children grew gradually and persistently but has been repeatedly frustrated. Time and time again, this challenge drew my focus to home and family. Used to looking out into the big wide world to justify my identity, purpose, strengths and success, looking inward and homeward was often uncomfortable and uncertain.

Recently though, something has shifted. I feel a growing excitement and purposefulness about nurturing the life that is centered around my own hearth. Now, not only do I want to care for my relationship with my husband and prepare for future children, I see it as extremely fulfilling work. I am excited to focus on meeting the needs of our little family of two and preparing to care for an expanding family. I want to learn how our home can be organized, peaceful, and supportive of growth. I want our spiritual life to be vibrant and strong, our meals to be nourishing, our recreation to be rejuvenating, our space to be welcoming. Simply put, I want to create a bit of Zion here in our little apartment.

Oh, the delightful irony. My seventeen year old self saw that vision as limiting, short sighted and even out of place. Now, I see it as possibly the most freeing, meaningful thing I can engage in. The effects of a well managed home and a cared for family are not out of place in the real world, but intimately woven into a family's and its individual member's successes in that world.

So, I take it back. I too want to be a mother in Zion. I want to learn all that entails from organizing and cleaning to nurturing emotional development, from preparing healthy meals to creating family time, from wise financial planning to having a deep, soulful marriage. All of this feels like deep and sacred work. I want to embrace it, share it, and write about it here.

And if, along the way, this focus on decorating, refreshments and cheering for the home team wins me a Homecoming Queen crown, who am I to complain?

Crafternoon Project

Bit of indigo fabric, pin-tucked...check.

Little blank book from here...check.

Elmer's glue....check.

White thread...check.

Result? A little calendar/day book that I love.

What are you making lately?

Should I yes or should I no, now?

I just finished reading this post, which Jen ends with an invitation to join her in living a "simpler life", including saying "no even if I feel obligated to say yes". Ladies and gentlemen, someone's singing my song.

The past year has involved a lot of saying no. No to sewing projects. No to volunteering. No to dance projects. No to opportunities. No to quilt-alongs. No to jobs. No to swaps. No to travel. No to purchases. No to crafting. Sometimes I've said yes to those things, when in my heart I knew I needed to say, "Nope. Not this time." Little by little though, I'm working on that no.

Here in the blogging world of YES! YES! YES!, I sometimes feel a bit displaced. Heavens, in the regular world of "What do you do?", "What are you working on?" and "What's new?", I feel out of place. As I say no more frequently, I often wonder what I'm saying yes to*. Little by little, yeses have started peeking through. They excite me, and at times overwhelm me.

For today though, here's a YES to Jen's invite for simple living and savoring family. That's one I can definitely say yes to!

p.s. Said no to trying to find a photo to accompany this post and yes to going to bed at only a "crazy late", instead of a "totally insanely late" hour.

*Hermanacita....see how freeing that preposition at the end of a sentence is? You should try it some time.

Moments: Creating order

Creating sometimes seems to make only chaos.

(The same bed from yesterday's post on peace...12 hours later.)

Creating sometimes makes delicious order.

(When in doubt for dinner, hubby's omelets are a sure bet! With leftover squash? Yum!)

p.s. Does eating a banana with my ice cream pie make my breakfast healthy? Someone needs to buy cereal...and bread...and T.P. around here. Guess that's me! Bye for now.

Moments: Peace

I'm needing a break from such long posts, so inspired by Amy's "Moments" idea....

The sweetest moment of my day yesterday was just after I turned off all the lights in our apartment on my way to bed. From the darkness of the hall, I came around the corner to the gentle light of our bedroom where I saw my honey tucked in bed, reading. The soft light from lamp, the cozy blankets wrapped around him, knowing I was about to snuggle up next to him...it was all comfort and peace.

I love that feeling!

On the cutting board and on the needles

Two new projects I've been wanting to do for years:

First, a Christmas tree skirt made from our old pants and skirts.

I'm using:

• pattern paper from a friend to design it
  
• lace from my grandma's stash
• tweedy cotton (that I thought was wool when my honey wore it)
• velvety embroidered fabric from a skirt I wore in high school to our Argo Society activities, like attending the opera (I did not, however, wear it to the hockey game we went to)
• corduroy and khaki fabric from both our work pants
• new trim, yet to be determined, but almost certainly from here (ooooooh! They have free shipping for orders over $25. If can't get to the NY shop, do you want to visit their online one!)
  

Second, a lace shawl. This lace shawl.


It was all the online rage several years ago, but I could never convince myself to fork over the $20+ to buy the Rowan magazine it was in. Amy even kindly checked to see if she had it among her knitting library. It's just been on my brain again this fall.

Then, by a series of coincidences (begun by fabric.com including yarn in the shop), I discovered the pattern is online (here!) at Rowan. FOR FREE!!! That my favorite yarn, was also on sale only sealed the deal. (Yes, several people have told me it looks like I'm knitting with hair...but it's MO-hair ladies and gentlemen!)

I'd been knitting for about a week and a half by the time I finished the first skein. I remembered reading that several people had run out of yarn with this pattern, so I thought I better check to make sure I was on track to finish with enough yarn. (There's some crazy math involved as you start with nearly 300 stitches and knit down to one.) After calculating the thousands of stitches I'd knit and the thousands yet to go, I realized I probably wasn't going to have enough. Aaaaaargh!

(Insert your own version of ensuing debate over whether to order more yarn that is now not on sale and won't qualify for free shipping that you may or may not need, depending on how the rest of your knitting goes. Or start over from the beginning, with only 10-20 fewer stitches, which will add up to thousands over the whole shawl.)

I ripped it out. The whole skein. I felt really calm while I did it, then frustrated and compulsive to get it back on the needles. Oh those first few rows of 300 stitches are soooooooooo long. But they are coming. I certainly hope my math was right!

How do you feel when you start a project? Or when you start it....again?