Thursday, October 2, 2008

Choices & Changes....

UPDATE: Seriously considered deleting this post today as circumstances have changed and I am in a new process of decision-making. However, I'll just leave this addendum to say, life is a process and this, as well as any other post is only a snap-shot of my life and my thoughts in any given moment. All are seriously subject to change. Quoting my sister's favorite sign-off, tongue firmly in cheek..."My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right." :)

I am a dancer. Have I mentioned that before? Today on my mind is a friend's project that I would LOVE to be a part of. This project will use dancers from different faiths and spiritual practices to explore the theme of spiritual foundations through movement and text. She wants to use a collaborative process and perform it for different congregations as well as regular dance venues. Oh, it's right up my ally and I really love working with her. However, I keep having this sense that adding one more thing to the mix this fall will be too much and spread me too thin.

But I majored in "spread too thin"! Can't I put all that training to good work??? I am not exactly used to choosing NOT to do something, especially something I want to do. How do I do this? Help!!! How do I choose to let go of something I would really, REALLY like to do and trust that my inner sense will guide me? Trust that God has many wonderful opportunities ahead of me, as a dancer, yes, but also in other areas of my life? Let go of it enough in my heart that I can bless her in her endeavors with my whole heart as she moves forward without me?

Aaaaaaaaaarrgh! That's how I feel about it! Yes, that is offset by moments of peaceful calm, but that anxious, urgent howl kicks in too and makes me want to rethink the whole thing. Is this normal??? Do you ever go crazy making decisions too?

Well, enough....even with the voices of "aaaaaaaaaaargh" and "it's going to be just fine" battling it out, I am going to get on with my day. Hope I get the most important things done and hope you do too!

Upward and of the steepest trails I've ever hiked, and yet I survived that one!
Hmmmmm.....Petersburg, Alaska

1 comment:

Amy said...

I think there is much to be said for the 'going with your gut' approach. I know the feeling of 'what if?' is an awful one and if you don't participate you will almost certainly have it. But joining in something your gut tells you that you don't have room for right now seems like a recipe for disaster. She will be counting on you, you will feel pressure, you will resent it... It feels like you might need to pass. If you are destined for such a project, then a chance will come again.

You asked...

Good luck with your choice.